From Randy

Hmmm, I'm not much into this writing stuff, but I figure it's nice to hear from me once in a while.

As you might remember, I broke my collar bone the day before Mother's Day, if you don't know it, IT HURTS!!!! Well, it's getting close to time for me to get back on my bike (that's bicycle, motorcycles are too dangerous) and ride again. I did't think this would be a problem, but the closer it gets, the more I remember the pain and I have to admit, I'm a little scared. I know we tell our kids to get up, dust off and get back on, but I'm no kid anymore. Don't worry, I'll go back out and I'll even race again, but it's a lot tougher than I thought.

BTW, if you need a place to send all the extra money you have, I need (or maybe that's want) a new bike.

Learning from the Young

Things I have learned (by an 18 year recent Highschool Graduate)

that a tough skin is necessary, but a compassionate heart is invaluable
that crying is good for you
that crying for others is really good for you
that kids know more than we give them credit for
that chandelier earrings can make someone feel beautiful
that a made bed is worth the effort
that i don't need very much and there is a difference in want and need
that everyone should keep a journal
that everyone should take pictures, even if there are others taking pictures at the same event, it is always cool to see something through someone else's eyes
that falling in love isn't as important as being loved
that water is good for you
that running relieves stress
that you should know what is going on in the world around you
that everyone should read the comics
that big trucks are meant to have country music coming out of their speakers
that everyone should know how to throw a punch
that everyone should know how to take a punch
that a blessed thing is a simple mindset
that i don't have to look good to other people
that riding in the rain with top down is good for the soul, but not the interior

I found this on another blog - some of these really hit home - Like maybe I should learn to take a punch because the other person needed the opportunity to throw one. Let me try to explain my thinking here (hang on to your hats - it might be a rough ride!) When someone says something negative to me I have NEVER been able to just shake it off in the same way I have never been able to embrace a compliment.

i.e. a Guy at work commented on my new hair cut (one that I might add I HATE and was already stressed because I had worked really hard to let it grow out and the chick (can't call her a lady) was to trim it and shape it into another style but she just started cutting it SHORT) anyway instead of just ignoring it I was ticked when he said something then after he left I cried even but his words go through my head everyday when I'm trying to make my hair look less butchered!

So as I said earlier maybe I should learn to take a punch (and for those of you out there that don't know I mean that verbally - you get physical with me or one that I love your going down because I do know how to throw a punch - and hey I'm from Texas I know how to shoot a gun if need be :) so be warned)

My lesson from this little blurb was I need to learn to not take things so personally - like planning a breakfast and then being disappointed when people don't want to come and being down right hurt when you find out they actually had breakfast with someone else. Never did it cross my mind that they didn't want to get up as early as they would have had to for my breakfast plans, instead I read it as they didn't want to spend time with me and then cried myself into a Migraine because of it so when we did have time together I didn't feel like enjoying it.

So my goal for the next few months is to learn to take a punch through prayer and turning it over to God to filter and then learning whatever lesson (truths) that He wants me to learn from it and move on.

Rylee's 1st Birthday - Trip to Texas

Well I'm back from Texas - where I fell in LOVE. Head over Heals in Love. It's okay cause so did Randy! We had already lost our hearts to our grandchildren on the days they were born but as we get to know each of the kid's personalities we just fall more and more in love with them.

We got to Texas Thursday evening and got to Nyki's around 11:30 - after working all day I was SO ready for bed (which I might add Rylee & Jeremy had already crashed). Nyki was excited to see us and ready to TALK so around 1 I finally said enough and we went to bed. Jeremy had to work the next morning so when he fired up his truck (which needs a new muffler) at 4:30 it woke me I realized I had a HORRIBLE headache (just one of the 3 I had while there) and went in search of medicine - I had to wake Nyki to find it and she told me where it was - then I went to crash with her so I could snuggle (something we have done since she was first born whenever we could) somehow I started talking and and couldn't shut up. Then Rylee woke up around 7:30 and Nyki went and got her - it was so cool to listen to their morning ritual via the monitor. Nyki walks into the room and says "Good Morning Sunshine" and Rylee as plain as day says "I love You" as I layed in bed and cried it was the sweetest thing I've ever heard, of course mommy said "I love you" back. Then they came to snuggle with me. We went to wake Grandpa up and that is where I discovered that I'm her favorite! (After YEARS of playing second to GRANDPA - it was really nice to be Number 1!) We let mommy finally get some sleep - then we went to pick up "Grandmary" AC's name for Grandma Mary (Randy's mom which I might add looks better than she has in YEARS) and drove to Uncle Joel's (somehow I thought he lived like in Texas also but I'm sure we drove far enough that it had to be Kansas!) it was actually a little over 2 hours. Joel's house is AWESOME. We really enjoyed our time with them, then it was back to Nyki's to meet Nanny, Pawpaw, Zane & Steve. They got there just an hour or so before Justin, Alisha, & boys and Shawn & Tasha. It was great getting to see everyone but like always happens when we are all together you don't really get to "TALK" to anyone it's just mass noise. We had a great time! Saturday was wild with the preparation and the birthday party. After the party we took Rylee to give mommy & daddy some peace and quiet. We went to Aunt Janice's and went swimming had SO much fun - Lil' Justin learned to dog paddle to get where he wants to go alll around the pool. Grandmary, Janice, Nanny, Pawpaw and Zane probably didn't have as much fun since they didn't have suits to swim but the rest of us played and played until it cooled down so much we had to get out (besides Rylee was almost asleep in Nanny's arms - a shout out to Mom & Zane for getting her dried and dressed when she had had enough of the water). Sunday morning Nanny and gang watched Josh so Alisha & Justin & Lil' Justin could play on the jet ski. While Randy, Nyki, Rylee, Shawn, Tasha & I went to church at McKinney Fellowship (let me say if you ever get a chance to attend a service there grab it!) Then we all met back at Nyki's for lunch then the Austin Jennings group hit the road so needless to say I didn't get much time with them but it was good to see them. Shawn & Tasha didn't leave for another 3 hours and they still beat them to Amarillo. Thanks to multiple flats - poor people. Monday Randy & Jeremy worked and Nyki and I hung out for the majority of the day with Rylee who played with all her new birthday toys then we went to exchange some duplicate items and went to Rylee's doctors appointment where she got 2 shots and had blood taken from the end of her finger. Tramatic for me if not for her! Then we met the boys at the new mall in Frisco. Tuesday came WAY to soon - after packing and doing a quick tour of Allen it was time to go home (SAD DAY!) I was heart broken to say goodbye.

The boys were waiting for me at the airport which was nice - IDEAL WORLD would be if all the grandkids (and children) lived within an hour of each other. But for now I will just cherish each and every minute I get to spend with them! Randy is still in Texas in Houston working due home Saturday with more pictures from the weekend which I'll try to share.

Justin, Rylee, and Josh are getting ready for the Birthday Party 

Mommy and Rylee - Rylee is wearing a new dress from Aunt Tasha - doesn't she look like a little Milk Maid? 

Shawn and Rylee the morning of Rylee's 1st Birthday 

Grandpa takes Rylee on her first carousel ride.  

New Great Nephew. Born June 1 in Amarillo Texas. 

Sunrise in Amarillo on Monday June 13. I check the following web site to see what kind of weather the family is having in Amarillo and thought this was a COOL Picture.

http://www.kvii.com/weather/683492.html

WOW what a Weekend

Hey guys I wanted to tell y'all I'm okay!!!!!! I have had a bad week and just used my blog to voice my feelings - I did not mean to make ANYONE/EVERYONE worry. I thank each of you for the reminder that you love me - I have never doubted your love just my lovability.

I've had a really good weekend and it's only Saturday night.

Last night I went to WOW - (Women of Worship) the talk was over Fear and how fear is from Satan - we were talking about the things we are afraid of and someone behind me said "Roller Coaster" and I thought not me well unless they are going backwards or in the dark. Then I was thinking maybe the reason why I have been so tired of the roller coaster ride of life lately is that I've been riding in the dark. I have decided and made the committment to God and now in front of each of my readers to "have a light upon my path" by hiding his words in my heart.

Today we had a paint day at the church - we were painting "the ocean" scene and we got SO MUCH done even AC painted a crab and did a wonderful job with the help of his friend Emily (a 7 year old) who did touch up to make sure it was "dark" enough. Anyway the fellowship with fellow believers and the having "face painting" tiime and time again was very uplifting!

Well I need to put the boys to bed it's 10:18 here. But may I take this time to point out that my "hinting" in a previous blog worked wonders - I got pictures of Trae - Trae's nursery and Emily pregnant from my sister. I also heard from PaTeve (Poppa Steve but grandsons call him PaTeve) that he didn't have any pictures so I don't feel neglected. It also worked to get my Brother-in-Law Greg to think about getting me pictures of his grandkids. So all in all my hinting was a success (But actually I think picking up the phone and asking them to send me pictures would have been effective.) Good night one & all.

Well since AC wanted to feed Mouse (the virtual dog) about 50 bones it is now closer to 11 and I'm putting the boys to bed........maybe they will take a good nap for mommy & daddy tomorrow.

Updates

Randy went to the doctor yesterday and was told he was healing nicely. The doctor was impressed with his mobility of his lift arm - he still cannot lift any weight with that arm but he can now move the arm above his head. Luckily for me he can still hug and hold with his right arm!

Well life is still chugging on and I'm trying to as Mary Oakley once told me on a rollar coaster - "keep my eyes on the track" and with my eyes on track (God) there are no surprise turns so I'm beginning to lose that SICK feeling and may even reach a point soon that I say WOW what a ride.

My sister has a 1 week old new grandson - would post pictures but Aunt Twila does not have any yet. (If that was too subtle try this SEND PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!) Stephen & Emily had a son June 1 - Stephen Franklin Austin III known as Trae - last I heard Momma & baby were doing fine. Mom & Shawn tell me he is too cute - dark black hair (lots of it) but will refrain to judge until I see for myself so (SEND PICTURES). LaZane already had 2 grandsons and the last time I saw them they were also too cute but (SEND PICTURES) since I don't get pictures and they don't blog I don't know 1st hand (SEND PICTURES). I should be getting to see the two older ones Lil' Justin & Josh (SEND PICTU'RES) at Rylee's birthday party. Can you believe our little granddaughter will be a year old on the 18th (YOU CAN BELIEVE IT BECAUSE I POST/SEND PICTURES).

That's it for now folks.

It's Me and My thoughts

First let me say the thoughts published here may not be the thoughts I have tomorrow or had yesterday but today these are my thoughts - they do not reflect anything more than the moment so PLEASE DO NOT READ ANYTHING INTO THEM! Life sucks! There I've said it - everytime things seem to be going in an upwards motion I discover that I was on a rollar coaster attached to the chain pulling me up just so it can top the hill and plunge me lower than I was before. I don't know what God is trying to tell me prior to letting me get off this crazy ride but I'm to the stage that I'm not having fun anymore - I'm feeling really sick over it. I know if I hang on and ride longer I will get past this stage because I've been here so many times before but right now I feel really alone on this ride. Maybe that is what God is trying to teach me is to hang onto the ride (HIM) with all my might and he will keep me on track - maybe I'm just trying to test the sides of the track and make my own way too much and he's showing me that if I stay in the middle and hold on it's smoother. All I know is that since Randy's accident I haven't been able to get rid of the feeling that there is a REALLY DARK CLOUD hanging over my head. I have noticed more grey hair, I've been gaining weight (probably because I have been eating - you think?) but I just know I am at the bottom of a really low plunge on my roller coaster and am not even sure I want to climb again knowing that there will be another plunge.

I've been counting my blessing and there are SO many of them so I'm not sure why I have the "funk" going but I do and would appreciate all prayers to help me get out of them. Let me describe my "funk" you know the saying - "I was sad because I have no shoes until I met a Man with no feet" my funk would say - well at least he couldn't stub his toe! Now you know what kind of funk I'm talking about. And my dear sweet husband is really the greatest!!!!!! He loves me no matter where I am on the ride - even when I spend us into the POOR FARM - or when I've saved us a bazillion dollars. So for Randy I am very thankful (and for all the rest of my friends and family I am very thankful and ask that you just hang on while I get myself back into a "Twila Zone"). Love you all.