Update....ummmmm okay that's a good name!

I'm still unemployed and am thinking that is part of why I am so angry with everyone and everything! I have never realized that my self worth is so tied to being a value to someone at work.

I enjoyed my time in Florida with my friend Julie and her family, seeing friends I haven't seen in awhile and came back feeling more upbeat and less consumed by the darkness. My friend Cindy bought me a couple of Chonda Pierce cd's and that has helped so much. I had my first ever surprise birthday party :) it was awesome! We went camping (I love camping and haven't gotten to go this year) we went to the beach and ate at Frenchy's. The only thing I would do different is next time I hope Randy can go with me...I missed him and he missed me.

I need to focus on the positives more on the negatives less..........I need to get me a Build a Bear to vent on. I do not want my kids and grandkids to remember me as always ANGRY. I want them to remember me more as it was Sunday when we sat around and laughed and shared and enjoyed each other!

Looking forward to having all the kids here this weekend but am disappointed that it is the same weekend that MEOW meets cause I love to spend the time with my friends like I got to last year on my birthday. But I know the right choice has been made!

Stay tuned for Trick or Treat pictures and hopefully some family pics!

My Dream Friday Night........

In my dream........

I am sitting on the shores of a large lake, across the lake I can see a couple that I enjoy spending time with camping on the exact opposite side of the lake. I can hear them laughing and having a good time every once in a while the man will look up and wave at me and motion for me to come over to their camp. The woman will smile and say come over please. I will just start crying because the lake is too big for me to walk around it, I have no boat and there is not a bridge. I cry often and hard while I am crying the lake gets bigger and bigger growing with my tears. I can't quit sobbing and the lake just keeps making me move further away from the other side to keep from getting wet. I can see the couple whom I love dearly having so much fun. I cry to God to help me get to them. He says walk across the water and I tell him I am not Jesus I cannot walk on water.......and again He says step out into the water and again I say I can't and cry harder making the lake grow. Again I hear Him very plainly say step into the water. I spend more time crying and saying I can't. Finally after what seems to be a very long time....long enough that I know I moved further inland 5 times because the water is still increasing because of my tears.....in fact I am so far inland that I can't even see the other campsite any longer. I hear yet again God say "Step into the Water" so I do and I realize that the whole lake is nothing but my tears and they only come up to my ankles so I begin to walk across the water...not on the water it wasn't a miracle but just across the water towards the other campsite. I feel stupid because I have allowed my pity party to keep me from those I love and want to spend time with. The saddest thing and the reason I cannot forget my dream is when I got to the other side it was too late my loved ones had packed up and gone home.

If you are one of the ones I have hurt during my pity party (and believe me their are many I am sure...) please do not give up on me ... do not pack up and leave because I am coming to spend time with you. I am so sorry that my self absorbtion has caused you to be hurt.

Jon and Kate Plus 8 - My View

I had to laugh when I read Drea a fellow Bloggers posting on this show........(Ummm she posted this a long time ago and I'm just now catching up on reading peoples blogs - so I'm behind time)

Anyway I also watched Jon and Kate Plus 8 for a while but turned it off after the way Kate spoke to Jon. Drea stated this much better than I can so go and read her post and then let me know what you think.

http://www.uniquelyplaced.com/2009/05/8-and-18.html

You back already? Did you read all of it?

Doesn't matter really but one of the things that I have noticed since taking a class with Randy "Building Your Mates Self Esteem" that the way we talk to our spouses is probably the most important thing we can do to build a strong lasting marriage ....... more important than common interests, than supporting them in their dreams and wishes, more important than SEX... All these things are important but belittling your spouse poke holes in a relationship like you cannot believe even when in Jest. I am AWFUL about "dissing" Randy in front of a crowd to be FUNNY. I love Randy with all my heart and I cannot imagine EVER being Happy without him by my side. I remember an old country song "Where have you been" Kathy Matea. It talks about everytime her husband is gone and he comes home she says "Where have you been - you know I am not myself when you are gone" that is exactly how I feel about Randy.

I do not believe that treating your spouse poorly gives them the right to cheat on you. I do believe that if a person does not get the respect they need in a relationship they crave it from someone else anyone else......... Be it Spouses or friendship.

I have no idea why I felt the need to say this but I did - hopefully God will use it, to better someone.

I'm still interested in your feelings on the subject of Jon and Kate or Marriage....

And out of nowhere I was Attacked!

Have you ever been minding your own business and out of the blue BOOM you are attacked?



Let me start from the beginning. Randy and I went to visit his family, His oldest brother and his wife, his sister and his mom. Randy's niece flew in and Randy picked her up at the airport, she spent some time with us and then we took her to her parents. It was a wonderful visit with Debbie, she cooked for us (Anyone else out there not know that Yorkshire pudding wasn't really a pudding at all?) we played lots of games, lots of visiting.....GREAT time! Then Thursday morning Randy, Debbie, and I drove the 2 hours to go visit the family. Met them at a wonderful restaurant and then went to his brother's house to visit. We played Apples to Apples where the guys killed us all and then the Train game, which I won! Then I am walking into the living room talking to his sister and BAM - I mean no warning no nothing just BAM, BAM, BAM! I was personally attacked. My first reaction was to hurt back....then the thought came into my head - "You cannot control what someone else does but you can control how you react...." So instead of getting even I smiled pretty and had my picture taken with the family and then went to the bathroom to nurse my wounds. Are you wondering what Randy did? Nothing - well WORSE than nothing - he laughed.



Here I will show you how it looks 2 days later...... STUPID CAT!

Things I have noticed lately

When communication breaks down it adds stress to a relationship. (I am not a mind reader talk to me, tell me what you want, or you have no right to pout when I make other plans that do not include your wants.)

When children are excited about something they seem to lose their minds! Not to mention their knowledge of exceptable behaviour.

When your down and withdrawl from the majority of contacts your cell phone stops ringing then when you want to talk to people and it doesn't ring you get down and withdrawl from people..... endless circle!

When Jesus has something in mind for you no amount of planning and aligning things to be able to do what you want to do will make it happen. But when you set back and say God do you want me to take this trip and he closes door you feel better because you know that it is within His will instead of thinking you should have planned better.

When you start exercising your body turns on you like a vicious attack dog. Okay maybe I didn't get the stomach flu because I have started to ride my bike again...... but just maybe I did!

I've been Cheating on you

Blog it is true ... I have been cheating on you, I have found that I like Facebook. I am so sorry I really think there is room in my life for both of you, but please do not make me choose. Facebook will accept quick little hellos where I feel you want me to stay and chat awhile. Besides Facebook allows everyone to see my words where you want people to come visit..and I've negelected you for so long people have probably quit coming to see if I'm even still alive.

Okay seriously people I have had a tough time blog lately because I have had a hard time thinking complete thoughts at all. I have fought depression and the majority of the days it has won. If I start the day off in Bible Study and Prayer I tend to win. However, I listen to the deciever and do not take the time to study.

I've also listened to Satan in other areas lately like when he says ...See you defended someone against everyone else when they were doing something you really didn't agree with but you stood strong beside them and now that they have turned the same actions on you, your not so fast to defend them. In fact your quick to blame them and judge them and write them off. I know that God doesn't turn his back on those that love Him. I am taking a stand to remember the Golden Rule I have been teaching this to the boys but haven't remembered to live it myself.

So I leave you with.. "Do unto Others as you would have them do unto you!"

To Bravely Go......

To bravely go where I have been before.....hmmmm maybe that is "To Cowardly Go Where I have been before!"

I have been in a dark place the last few weeks....I'm not sure if pity party is the right term because most of the time when I'm at a pity party I can see it for what it is. This has been more of a "I do not know what Is up with me but it isn't pretty" kind of thing.

As you know I have been "Work forced reduced" and am now looking for a job. I thought it was a great thing to be let go - especially since I am receiving unemployment so it isn't a major impact on the finances. However, I think I am feeling a little lost because so much of what is TWILA is a sense of accomplishment achieved from work.....no work - no sense of accomplishment. I have also been doing a Bible study with a friend of mine.. Beth Moore's Get Out of the Pit, which has made me look long and hard about certain areas of my life.....areas that were hidden and ignored for so long that once brought into the life they smelled, they were covered in rotten growth and bugs (we all know I do not like bugs!). But dealing with them and actually putting them in the ground (buried - because they are dead) is helping.

I am making a committment to my friend (HEY CINDY!) to quit hiding when things are bad. I am making a committment to my family to quit withdrawling when I feel the darkness and allow them to bring the light into the darkness one small flame at a time until I have that burning bright going to get sunburned feel from the raging sunshine all thier candles created.

Oh yeah another reason I need to find a job - the perfect job for me that God has in place already - is so the lines between "I am Grandma" and "I am momma" are not so blurred - thanks for putting up with the butting in so much Brittney and RC....I will try to do better and remember "I'm not the momma" and it isn't my job. Love you guys.

So now aren't you glad you emailed asking when I am going to update again???????

I am ALIVE!

Just wanted to reassure everyone I was still around......

So much has happened since I last blogged I will just try to hit the highlights....
a. I was laid off
b. Andrew turned 3
c. AC turned 7
d. Nyki and Jeremy moved to a new house
e. Randy, Britt, Trace, Andrew, and Kailey went to visit Amarillo
f. Randy and I have gotten active in PrePaid Legal - once we saw how great it is we want to share it with others......if interested let me know!
g. I was approved for Unemployment so am being picky about what jobs I apply for - do not want to accept the wrong one because that quickly becomes misserable!

So how has everyone else been?

New Look

You will have noticed by now I'm sporting a new look......well at least my Blog is! I want to Thank my Daughter-in-Law for setting me up with such a pretty - uplifting look! Thanks T!

I have a funny story to share with you regarding this look. As anyone that has read this, my facebook or received an email from me lately will know I'm going through a really rough time. So I have a dear friend that I rely on heavily when I am in the midst of Darkness - I truly believe that anyone that has walked or walks in the Darkness understands what I am going through better than someone that has never experienced the DARKNESS of depression. Anyway I digress (I know THAT's a shock!)

My friend pointed out to me that I am mistaking Money for Wealth and vice versa...I am very wealthy in love and family - even if money is tight I am WEALTHY! So I wrote to my friend that I had come up with a bi-line from some advice she had given me. The bi-line is "the cubbard is bare but our cup runneth over" (see it up there.....you know a play on the Old Mother Hubbard went to the cubbard.......poem)

Wow it's taking me a while to get to the funny part - HUH!

So I wrote to her and said my bi-line is going to be "the cubbard is bare but our cop runneth over"....so as most of you know my son is a police officer , I get an email asking me "what did S run over?" did you see the typo? our cop runneth over....instead of cup. Luckily T is better at proof reading than I am. Ok maybe it was just funny to me but it made me laugh OUT LOUD.

Reflective Mood

Somethings that have me giving into the darkness lately
1. Hating my job with no other prospects out there to really look at.
2. Being so far from Florida (remember when I couldn't wait to get back to Texas? Yeah not so much anymore)
3. Not seeing my Daddy on his birthday......heck I even almost failed to call him and wish him a happy birthday.
4. Finding out that no matter how hard I try not to add stress to someone else I tend to ALWAYS do it...... Believe me that is the last thing I want to do to people I love!
5. Listening to the news talk about how much worse the economy is going to be before it gets better.....
6. Finances! Oh to never have to worry about money again!


Somethings that have me fighting HARD agains the darkness
1. Wonderful precious grandbabies (even though NONE are babies anymore!)
2. Game night with my daughters and son-in-laws - I LOVE to Win but I will even take losing if it means I get to spend some time with the girls (and their hubbies) - Have I told you blog world how my son-in-laws can make me laugh till I spew my drink through my nose?
3. MY LOVING HUSBAND - God gave me such a gift when it comes to him.
4. Seeing friends I haven't seen but once maybe twice in over 10 years and actually getting to spend quaility time with them. 2 different friends (well 3 I guess one was a couple) in 2 weeks.
5. Getting sweet cards and emails from Julie :)
6. Having my friend Cindy as a sounding board - she's not afraid to tell me like it is and coming from her I'm not afraid to hear it because I know it is done in LOVE!
7. Knowing I have a Saviour that NEVER LETS GO OF ME!

So on reflecting I know that the good out weights the bad so why the heck is it the BAD that always bounces around in my head?

Why I believe Heaven and Hell are real.....

A friend had blogged about how she was struggling trying to decide on a religion or even if she believed in a supreme being. I kind of went into my beliefs - a long comment on her blog and have been thinking about it ever since....so for the 2 maybe 3 people that still read my blog I thought I would share with you some of the reasons why I believe the following:

God loves me and takes care of me.
example: Many years ago when Randy was in college and I was a home maker with 3 fairly young children. Our parents were very helpful during this time of NO INCOME....they let us live in their rent house, rent free, they paid our utility bills, bought diapers, groceries etc. Randy worked truck wrecks when he could and would get paid, he helped with a paper route when he could for income.....he did everything he could to help out. I babysit for some income and we tried to impact our parents as little as possible. Randy worked a truck wreck and got to bring home some frozen fried chicken (hmmmm maybe that is where my dislike for fried chicken comes from - because I used to love it) We had this chicken for at least every other meal for weeks (It was a BIG TRUCK!) Randy made the comment when he brought it home how God had provided for us....I agreed, but then after a few weeks of the same stuff (wow my throat is closing just thinking about the chicken) I was becoming very much like the Isralites in the desert complaining about the manna God provided. I put the last box of chicken in the oven for supper one night, it was a few days before WIC sent us new coupons for Milk, Eggs, Cheese etc......and I literally had nothing to feed my children for Breakfast. I had mentioned calling my parents for help and Randy said no I've prayed about it and God will provide. So I put the food in the oven, had made the mashed potatoes (powdered from a box.....can you say yummy - yeah neither can I) and opened up green beans (Praise God for my parents garden because we had fresh canned veggies....too bad my children wouldn't eat them- LOL). I turned to Randy and yelled OKAY so where is God - what am I suppose to feed the kids tomorrow? He said, If it comes to that he would go to his mom's in the morning and borrow some money or food.........I said why not go now. He stated he would after supper and the kids were in bed. (looking back now and knowing him to be the man he is - I can only imagine how it killed him to have to ask either of our parents for anything.... and believe me he had a wife that reminded him every chance she got that her parents were putting a roof over our heads etc.....) Anyway we were eating supper and the front doorbell rang (I stress the front doorbell because anyone the knew us well would come to the back and ring that doorbell) So I figured since it was the front door it was one of the kids in the neightborhood coming to see if Nyki could play. Randy gets up and goes to the front door......he speaks and then closes the door. He doesn't come back to the table, so I call out "Who was it" He says "Come here it is my God" I get up and go to the living room and see the Chairman of the Deacons at our church come in with bags of groceries - it took him and Randy 2 trips each to get them all in the house. George shares that he was dropping them off at a trailor (in the trailor park at the end of our neighborhood) and when he pulled up the trailor was gone and the family that the church had gathered the groceries for were no where to be found. So he prayed asking God where to take the groceries and God told him our house. We thanked him - I cried (Randy probably did too but I do not rememberr) and George left so we started putting away the groceries and in the first sack I opened their were 3 boxes of cereal - Sugar Puffs (Nyki's favorite), Kix (Brittney's favorite) and Fruit Loops (Shawn's favorite).......now tell me that isn't the hand of God. He knew we would never ask for help - he knew we would die of embarrassment before taking a hand out from our church family and yet he provided a way for us to save face and each of the children to get their favorite (two of which we couldn't even get on WIC).

When we were moving from Florida to Texas a friend of mine (Hey Marilyn) reminded me during the time I was so doubtful that everything would work out that "God Still Rings Doorbells"!

When we do not make a choice to believe then we have made a choice to reject Him and face eternal life in Hell.
example: Over the course of my life I have been in the room 3 different times when someone has taken their last breath. (No this is not a reflection on me.....it is safe to be in the room with me). 1st ONE: My brother-in-law who just before Randy and I were married surrendered his life to Jesus and became a christian - His final moments were his troubled breathing and then silence...that was it. He went from a painful look on his face to one of peace. His wife said he's with Jesus now. 2nd ONE: My uncle who no one knows if he ever made a decision.....most people that knew him says NO. I was in the room with my dad and 2 (possibly 3 - but I know 2 other) uncles when he took his last breath - it was dark, it was scary and he fought and fought hard..... one uncle stated he went in pain, another said quietly to his wife when we were back in the waiting room (he fought against Satan) I heard him and just looked at him he hugged me and said he had seen it before. My dad was weeping so it was later before we spoke of it and he said he didn't have the peace that he had when others had passed that he would see them again in Heaven. I was an adult, mother of 3 at the time and some nights I still have nightmares from his last moments on earth. 3rd ONE: was when my father in law passed....We were with him before his final heart attack, Randy's mom had called us stating that he wasn't good and wanted us to go see him, so my parents kept the kids and we went to the VA hospital to see him. He was alert and knew us - asked if Randy's neice by marriage had made it in from NY with her kids, visited with us. As we were leaving I leaned over to kiss him goodbye and he held my arm for a minute looked into my eyes and told me to take care of his babies. Remind them often of how much he loved them and that he would see them again. I told Randy when I joined him in the hall what he said and that he had just said goodbye. Randy I think wanted to believe that it was a message strictly because he had been in the hospital for over a month and that he wanted to remind the kids that he was thinking of them. We go get the kids from my parents house and take them home bathe them for church the next day and put them to bed. Randy's mom calls shortly there after and the hospital had called the family in. Randy and I only had one car so he couldn't go meet his mom while I took the kids to my sisters and then joined them. He didn't want me to just stay at home, which is what had always happened before. As we were gathering up the kids after I had called my sister to see if we could drop them off there, his mom called again and his nephew was there so she was just heading to the hospital with him. So we took the kids to my Sister's house and headed to the hospital. We got there and they had moved Dad into the CCU unit, but we were told we could come and go all we wanted (which is not normal) we found Mom and Robert and then we went back to see Dad, he wasn't alert any longer. We went back a few times over the next couple of hours and just shortly past midnight, we went back with Randy's mom for her to tell him it was okay to go. He said I love you (the only words he'd spoken since talking to me as I was leaving earlier) and he relaxed (that's the best way I can describe it....he wasn't fighting prior but his body just seemed to relax completely and he had a smile on his face) we walked Mom back to the waiting room and then Randy and I went back in, a nurse met us and stated that they needed a few minutes if we could just wait outside so we went back to the waiting room with his mom, nephew, sister and brother-in-law. The doctor came to the room just seconds after we got back in the waiting room to tell us he was gone.

Now some people might say it is just a fluke that all three died so differently - that it is just individual circumstances but I disagree - I think that in the last moments everyone knows their final destination and that is what makes the difference!

I would also like to share a story I've been told time and time again by my mother who was 9 or so when her grandfather passed. That was when you didn't take people to the hospital (well few people took them to the hospital) Grandpa Stuckey (GPS) had been ill for awhile and so my Mamaw asked my mom to sit in the room with him while she prepared lunch. Mom was playing with her doll on the floor when GPS spoke for the first time in weeks. He said "look there's ......" he began to call out names of his wife, son, and grandson that had all passed before him and then he said very plainly "And there's Jesus". You will never be able to convince my mother (or me for that matter) that Jesus isn't standing there with opened arms to welcome us home when we die.

Good Deed Challenge......x7 yikes!!!!!!

Pop over here and see what I am talking about.

1. I love my HUSBAND because he is my best friend, lover, defender, and unfortunately my dog (when I need something to kick and yet just like a dog will come back with forgiveness and love!)
2. I laugh at myself often because if I didn't I would end up in the corner sucking my thumb out of dispair.
3. I want to acknowledge/thank my children because they survived my bungling ways in raising them to become Strong Good Adults that add to this world and not just takes from it!

So I did this and the challenge is to do it 6 more times.......maybe in the future I can do it in a more upbeat view....but for now it is what it is!

Spitting Nails!

I am mad enough to spit nails.........a group called "God Hates Fags" plans to picket my friends funeral friday night. You can read why at this web site.........
http://www.godhatesfags.com/schedule.html

They say the memorial service is to worship Marvin....no you idiots it is for remembering Marvin and worshiping the God that created him.

Please join me in praying for minimum contact with Sandy, Tyler, and Kayley they do not need to remember their fathers memorial service connected to this group in any form or fashion.

I praise God we live in a country that they have the right to voice their CRAP no matter how stupid they are. Now the God that can close the mouths of lions can also open up heavens gates and let it POUR RAIN on this group as the picket! (and if he saw fit I wouldn't mind them being struck by lightning - Florida is the lightning capital of the world!)

this Mamma's Drama

This week has been one that I hope will never be repeated!

It started off with sicknes throughout our house (heck that is how it is ending also). We went out for a FUN FUN night with another couple last Friday and I think that is the last good thing that has happened!

Got up Saturday morning to a sicky husband and I didn't feel very good but kind of was thinking "hang over" but as the day went on the worse I felt. Didn't even leave the house until Sunday night - heck I only came out of my room like 3 times until Tuesday morning even. Today's the first day I have been audible (yes this is an answer to Prayer for Randy).

Anyway back to my week.....worked form home Monday, came to work Tuesday and around 1 p.m. left to take Brittney's boys to Nyki, so we (Britt, RC, Kailey, Randy, and I) could drive to Waco for the Visitation for the family of a friend of ours from Tampa's mother. I was thankful that we lived close enough to make the 2.5 hour drive to see Jennifer and Steve. As awful as the circumstance were it was nice to see Beth and the whole Biles family. We were reminded of just how many friends we had left behind.

Wednesday was just a yucky day not enough sleep (drove home the night before during Hail, high winds, just plain crappy weather and couldn't turn off my mind until after 2 a.m.) By the way is it safe to give my son-in-law a word of advice on driving in the storm? It should be because he can't pull the car over and leave me on the side of the road (which he threatened to do a few dozen times on the trip to and from Waco) Anyway RC when you run into bad weather it might not be the best choice to just drive faster to get through it..........hmmmmm if it had been me I probably would have slowed down to at least the speed limit. Just kidding he did fine if he hadn't of I wouldn't be here to type this.

Wednesday night/evening was just ........well it sucked and that was like the nicest thing I can think to say about it. I was upset and snapped at Brittney who was also upset for having coke cans in her room ready to be spilt by the kids........Does anyone remember my post on just the one before the last one, well the Mom in me kicked in and I snapped at her (my adult, grown-up, mother of 4, wife for years...............and the list goes on) for leaving empty cans sitting around. I'm sure I would have grounded her if I could...today typing this I'm thinking Twila let Go you are NOT in Charge......anyway my snapping made a stressful situation worse. Hows that for honesty?

Thursday wasn't too bad, had a meeting with my immediate manager and was told that the company is moving probably at the end of this month (which is what 2 weeks away?) the prime location for now is 47 miles away from where the current office is. I took this job and a pay cut because it was 3.2 miles form my house....not going to drive over an hour both directions without some compensation. So I told my manager that for either a gas card or a couple of more bucks an hour AND a 4 - 10 work week with every Friday off I wasn't going to do it. So he was like sounds fair will take it to corporate. Then Thursday night around 8 my manager called to tell me that Corporate said I probably should put my resume out then because NO WAY will they meet my demands.......demands like I'm holding them hostage......anyway so I went to bed thinking wow talk about being expendable.

Then we come to the big CLENCHER OF THE WEEK........ One of the first people we met when we joined First Baptist Lutz was the drummer in the praise band.. Marvin and his lovely daughter Kayley. Later on we met his wife Sandy and son Tyler - the whole family worked in Judgement House with Randy and I. Well Marvin was the Captain / Pilot of Flight 3407 ....he is jamming in the Ultimate Praise Band in Glory - playing live before Jesus. I received the news from a dear friend Cindy having Texted me to call her ASAP..... she shared with me that Marvin was the Pilot and no one had survived. I am currently listening to Bro Alan doing a conference for the news in Tampa. Oh Sandy how I wish I was close enough to give comfort but I am sending in my stead the GREAT COMFORTER, may God be with you.

So Today I was reminded that my problems are so small compared to what my friends are going through!

What to do.....What to do....

Okay I cannot decide what to do ..........

I have no sick leave at work.......I have the bug that the boys shared with me.

My boss's baby boy has been hospitalized 2 or 3 times since he was born in August due to viruses.

Do I stay home and get to feeling better, and let it impact our finances?
or
Do I go to work and share this bug and risk Boss getting it and sharing it with baby E?

Luckily for me the boss sent me some work so I can work from home and still get the pay.......
but what would you do?

Just throwing it out there!

I have so many things going through my head lately and have refrained from posting because everytime I have a post that is more insightful (hey I like that word.......much better than more real!) people start trying to read more into it than I meant. But I could sure use some advice in the following areas:

1. At what point should a mother back off.........I love my children, always have - always will. I by nature am a fixer. If they have a problem I want to kiss it better, fix it for them, or kick someone's butt for hurting them. I also want to smack them up side the head when I think they are wrong. So my question is - now that they are adults with spouses some with children....how do I turn it down a few notches? I try not to nag, but catch myself repeating my thoughts to them which is no different than nagging.

2. At what point do grandparents (hey it's even better than parents cause when they miss behave you can look at the parents like......can't you control your child - because I am sure it has NOTHING to do with that 2nd cupcake grandma let them have or the mountain dew that grandpa put in their cups) anyway back on subject. Let parents learn for themselves? I'm hoping Brittney doesn't mind my sharing with y'all. But her little lady bug has decided the best time to get undivided attention is after her brothers (and everyone else in the house) has gone to bed. Well needless to say Brittney is sleep deprived.....oh but what quality time they get at 2 a.m. LOL. Anyway Brittney has decided that Kailey needs to stop it! So she is adjusting her schedule as best she can and letting her cry it out a little....nothing neglectful just not responding upon the first whimpers over the monitor. I got up with her last night went in and gave her a binkie (aka pacifier) and covered her with her blanket and told her to go to sleep she is not getting a bottle or up to play it is bedtime! When I left the room mommy was in the hall - she said "I thought we were going to tough it out". I responded with a "I just don't want her to cry and think no one is there for her" I didn't give her a bottle I didn't get her out of bed but I did go against known parents wishes. The end result was good - she went back to sleep and slept for the rest of the night...but that doesn't excuse the fact that I ignored her parents plans. So how do I handle this? I want all the grandkids to know I am there for them but I also hated it when our parents ignored our wishes..............so should I go get Brittney and say I think if you will give her a binkie and lay her back down she will settle faster or do I just lay there and ignore her?

3. Hey why we are on the whole lay my flaws out there.........How do I teach myself that because someone is not doing it my way doesn't mean they are doing it wrong? Randy was helping me clean up after the superbowl party at our house and I poured salsa from the dish it was in back into the bottle over his clean dishes in the sink (not on purpose....just I do not let clean dishes stack up in the sink before I rinse them and put them on the drainer) so I got salso on clean dishes and he just rewashed them, no snapping no nothing. Where I thought who in their right mind would start washing dishes before the food is put away and all the dishes are ready to be washed. Was he wrong NO....not at all but it just wasn't my way so therefore I thought it wasn't the "RIGHT WAY". Maybe I should put a scrunchii on my arm and pop it whenever I try to force someone to do something exactly like I would do it instead of just letting them do it and being thankful that they are helping.

Okay that's it for now......I can fix me in other areas later on!

Please if you read this give me suggestions because I do want to become better at it. I am aware that I cannot ground or punish my children until they do what I want them to do......but it's hard I've had years and years of being the boss of them - it's hard to back off! LOL......but I so enjoy being their friend!

Friday Fill In

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1. I'd really like _take a nap___ right now.
2. _Sheeeeeiiiitttt____ is the word you'd most often hear me say if I stubbed my toe.
3. Possession is _a guarentee one of the other grandkids are going to want thier toys back____.
4. ___Best looking dead guy I have ever seen is__ Captain Jack Sparrow.
5. Marshmallows and fire go together like _chocolate and graham crackers____.
6. _This afternoons webinar went ____ on and on.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _game night maybe.....movie night? I hope not because I will never stay awake for it____, tomorrow my plans include _cleaning house - and cooking for my super bowl party sunday____ and Sunday, I want to ___worship with my church family and have my small group over for the supper bowl__!

RC Happy Birthday

Wow it seems like just last week I wrote a blog about my daughter-in-laws birthday and how much she means to me.........and now it is already my Son-in-Law's birthday (oh yeah I remember they are just a week apart ....... well their birthdays are anyway)

So T gets this big long list of things I adore about her. Poor RC gets a quick little mention- but do not make the mistake of thinking I adore him less!

RC can best be described as FUNNY.... he makes me laugh and people assure me that laughter has never killed anyone but I have a hard time believing that because just this past Thanksmas RC being RC had me cracking up and I got choked.....I could not catch my breath I was SCARED and Shawn and Randy jump to my aid and RC can't quit cracking jokes....have you ever laughed when you can't breath? Well I did and I am pretty sure I heard my lungs explode and break all my ribs because my side hurt so bad..........finally I gasp and squeak out "someone make him shut up" and at that he said "that isn't even one of my killer jokes....she's just a light weight!"

This is what I adore most about RC! Well and the 4 lovely grandkids he and my daughter have provided for me.

I was told once congrats you have 3 great children-in-laws and I said Thank You - like I had anything to do with it. I just happen to have 3 great children that did a fantastic job of picking out spouses!

RC I hope your birthday is GREAT......I hope this next year is the best yet!
Happy Birthday!!!!

Friday Fill In

1. Oh, I am so _stressed.....between family and work, hey maybe I should claim Philipians 4:6 and actually do it____!
2. __I tend to resist___ changes, big and little.
3. During _Madagascar____, I __laughed when the little duck was eaten (causing some freaking from my grandson.....he did not see what I found funny)___.
4. __Yet another boss___; are you kidding me???
5. Right now I'd like to be _relaxing because I won the lottery and no longer need to work___.
6. __My IPOD___ is my favorite gadget.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to my parents coming for a visit_____, tomorrow my plans include _spending time with the parents and the grandkids ____ and Sunday, I want to _introduce my parents to my new worship family and get as much visiting in as we can before they have to go back home____!

Birthday Party Goody Bags

I was just over visiting DW and she mentioned not having a goody bag for her sons birthday party. Which got me to thinking..............(I know it frightens me too)

What do you do with the goodie bags from Birthday Parties?

Back in the day when I was a kid.......you know before dirt was formed...going to a friends birthday party meant you got CAKE and ICE CREAM and a couple of hours playing with friends. PERIOD - no bribery to come - nothing else!

When my kids were little they would come home with goodie bags that were stuffed with (excuse me I have no other word for it) junk that they did not need. So I placed the goody bag on the pantry shelf and ignored it......months (possibly years) later I came across it and thought wonder which child this belongs too and if they haven't asked for it by now do they need it? So I trashed it.

My daughter has spent more on goodie bag stuffings for her childrens birthday parties than they have received present wise from some of their friends.......not that getting presents is what the party is about but I think it is silly to spend so much money to place junk in a goody bag that some mother (like me) is going to trash in a few months.

So my questions are:
What do you do with goody bags you get from kids BD parties?
What do you tend to put in a goody bag for your kids BD parties?

Happy Birthday and May God Bless!

Wow today is my Daughter-in-Law's birthday. Happy Birthday T! So I thought I would share with you some of the things I most admire about her.........so sit back and get comfortable.

1. She is the most patient person with children I think I have ever seen.
2. She makes all children want to "be good" not out of fear but so she will turn her smile on them and be pleased with their actions.
3. She thinks of the most unusual things to brighten someones day........I must share an example with you here. The first Christmas she and my son were married - they sent us a basket with pancake mix and syrup etc....so even though we were in different states we could still have Christmas breakfast together.
4. Even if she disagrees with the way you have handled something (and by you I mean me or would it be I in this case....I digress) she never never never attacks the person. She points out that another way to handle the situation might have been......... Never has she said I am wrong but gives me food for thought to consider the next time.
5. She loves my Son....which as his mother I say what's not to love, but as the wife of the older version of the same soul - I know the answer to that question.....however, I also know that God meant for T and I to be the ones to love these men and love them we do with all our hearts.
6. The fact that she may not understand my son's weird sense of humor (and weird it is - he gets that from me!) she smiles and laughs when she hears his belly laugh.
7. She doesn't understand how people can talk trash about people and then be their friends to their face like nothing is wrong.....truly she just doesn't understand that. The sad part is that I do - and I know that I do because I have practiced the art of Two-Face Friendship way too many times in the past. Thanks to my DIL not understanding it - I strive to be a better person and take the high road so I can travel it with her.
8. She is a very talented scrapbooker (did I just use that word correctly?) She made one of her nephews a picture frame with a picture of him with her and one with his uncle and one of all three of them all together in one picture and when he was sad the other day I asked him why he had the picture down and he said because it makes me remember to smile.
9. Once she is your friend she will always be your friend - unless you have broken the friendship it will not be broken!
10. She strives to always let Jesus shine through her...... she is human - she does make mistakes but she tries to fix them as quickly as she can.

I love you T and pray for God to send extra blessings to you this year!

p.s.....I'm not sure I have ever noticed before that your birthday is Inauguration DAY.......May God also bless this President and the USA!

Friday Fill In

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1. Enough with the _Christmas lights being on____.
2. Giving advice to my children causes me to be conflicted.
3. I've been craving Taco Villa combo burrito with extra cheese.
4. My Grandchildren's antics makes me laugh.
5. I wish I could go to my son and daughter-in-laws house to play Wii next week.
6. Darkness has been on my mind lately.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going back to bed, tomorrow my plans include finding game stores in the area to find some farkel dice and having the kids over for a farkle party and Sunday, I want to not make a fool of myself as I talk to our church during morning worship and relax with small group!

2009 Friday Fill in #1 for me

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1. It's January; __which means my Favorite DIL's birthday.......I love hearing all her plans, I've never met anyone who can make a birthday last a month before but T can :).l....oh yeah and it is my Son-in-Law's birthday too but he is more likely to forget it than I am.
2. _A hug from Julie____ is what I crave most right now.
3. Cork and wine go together like me and my hunny of almost 30 years.....
4. __Peanut Butter & syrup (yummmmmm)___ is so nourishing.
5. Let us dare to think of others first this year_____.
6. Take your shoes off in my home.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to __Pizza (don't know if that is what we are having but that is what I want) and a movie___, tomorrow my plans include __Oh my don't tell anyone but I really do not have any plans for a saturday.....WoW yeah me!___ and Sunday, I want to __keep the nursery and pray and worship with my small group___!