In my dream........
I am sitting on the shores of a large lake, across the lake I can see a couple that I enjoy spending time with camping on the exact opposite side of the lake. I can hear them laughing and having a good time every once in a while the man will look up and wave at me and motion for me to come over to their camp. The woman will smile and say come over please. I will just start crying because the lake is too big for me to walk around it, I have no boat and there is not a bridge. I cry often and hard while I am crying the lake gets bigger and bigger growing with my tears. I can't quit sobbing and the lake just keeps making me move further away from the other side to keep from getting wet. I can see the couple whom I love dearly having so much fun. I cry to God to help me get to them. He says walk across the water and I tell him I am not Jesus I cannot walk on water.......and again He says step out into the water and again I say I can't and cry harder making the lake grow. Again I hear Him very plainly say step into the water. I spend more time crying and saying I can't. Finally after what seems to be a very long time....long enough that I know I moved further inland 5 times because the water is still increasing because of my tears.....in fact I am so far inland that I can't even see the other campsite any longer. I hear yet again God say "Step into the Water" so I do and I realize that the whole lake is nothing but my tears and they only come up to my ankles so I begin to walk across the water...not on the water it wasn't a miracle but just across the water towards the other campsite. I feel stupid because I have allowed my pity party to keep me from those I love and want to spend time with. The saddest thing and the reason I cannot forget my dream is when I got to the other side it was too late my loved ones had packed up and gone home.
If you are one of the ones I have hurt during my pity party (and believe me their are many I am sure...) please do not give up on me ... do not pack up and leave because I am coming to spend time with you. I am so sorry that my self absorbtion has caused you to be hurt.
4 years ago

