Do I look OLDER to you? Or maybe just tired!

Wow so much has happened since my last "real" post. I will try to hit the highlights!

Camping weekend with my bestest friend and her family. RELAXING - WONDERFUL- ALL OTHER GREAT adjectives! Really was what the Doctor ordered (well if I bothered to go to a doctor it would have been anyway!) I've decided I could become a Hermit as long as Randy was with me!

Preparing for judgment House - (a Tour of your Final Destination - Drama). Randy and I co-direct JH with another couple. This year we have NOT held up our side of the bargain at all. Randy has been & will be out of town both weekends of the performance. We did help in setting up the individual rooms for the drama. We came home early from Camping for some meetings & then the following Sunday we spent 13 hours at the church setting up the scenes. Randy left town the following Tuesday morning for Dallas. I spent Tuesday night working late - Wednesday night at the church for final touches before dress rehearsal Thursday night. Thursday night went straight from home to the church for the dress rehearsal and got home after 10 did my laundry & packing until 1 a.m. and was at the airport by 5 a.m. for a flight to Dallas.

Trip to Dallas - hmmmmmmm where to begin? I arrived and Nyki and the kids met me at baggage claim. This was the first time I got my hands on Jakob (I know what kind of Grandmother doesn't even see their grandson for the first 3 months of their lives? I know I know I SUCK!) Anyhow I spent a wonderful day with Nyki, Rylee, & Jakob. (Jeremy was sleeping having gotten off work after 6 a.m.) We went to their new apartment - TOO CUTE! We kind of just chilled and played and dozed until about 2 when Jeremy got up - visited with him a short while. Shawn & Tasha were on the road from almost as early as I started flying. They got there about 2:30 just in time for Jeremy to say Hi & Bye and go back to work. Randy finally finished with his work and could join us.

Okay details are taking to long - I did say highlights so here it is!

Tasha & Shawn look GREAT! Shawn brought the kids badges from McGruff that actually say Dumas on them (Gotta say they are great - but not as awesome as Shawn's badge is!) Shared a room with Shawn & Tasha which gave us some good visiting time!

Nyki and kids came to the hotel with us Friday night - we went across the parking lot to Two Rows for supper. Nyki & kids came back and hung for a while then headed home about 10. We went back across the street for some drinks (after Shawn put his gun & badge in the room - wrapping them safely in my jacket). Remember this for a later.

Saturday - we picked up Nyki & kids (ate lunch at their house YUMMY CHILI - and then loaded into her mini van so we could all ride together) went to Winsboro where Randy's mother's family was having a reunion. We visited with them for a couple of hours. Randy's mom looks great! Went straight from Winsboro to Grapevine Mills mall for supper at the rain forest cafe (pictures to follow soon!) The drive alone was like 3 hours - which allowed good visit time. Has a BLAST at RBC! Went back to Nyki's house where Randy & Shawn helped Nyki get the sleeping/sleepy kids into the house. Went back to the Hotel and played some spades.

Sunday - Nyki & Kids came and joined us for breakfast & then we went to the outlet mall until Jeremy was ready to get up from working all night again so we could go to "BASS PRO SHOP"? I think that was the name of the place. Got some good deals at the outlet mall - had a good laugh at the Tommy shop - they have a security guard armed with a CELL PHONE! He noticed the shape of Shawn's gun through his shirt and followed Shawn step by step through out the store - Shawn didn't even notice - Tasha & I were cracking up watching him. Shawn walks up next to us and Tasha says "why don't you take a few more laps around the store" Shawn replied "Why?" and I said (yes I feel bad - but it was funny I don't care who you are) "Because he could use the exercise" and pointed at the SG - who rolled his eyes and walked off. I bought Shawn a new shirt for his birthday and he stepped outside and immediately changed shirts where the SG saw his badge & gun through the door - nodded his head and relaxed. I kept thinking if it was a "bad guy" with a gun what exactly could the SG do? He could possibly have out run my MIL who is 84 - I did say possibly! After BPS - wow what a cool store we spent 3 hours or so just there alone. We went to Fuddruckers to eat - kissed everyone bye and headed to the airport - our trip was over :(.

Got to the airport I got my boarding tickets for the Kiosk & Randy tried but it said for him to see the agent. When he went to the desk he was told that he could not possibly make his connection in Houston and there were no other flights to get us home Sunday night (I'm not sure why they were going to let me go and stopped him but...He did say ummm what about my wife we are on the same flights) They tried for an hour or more to get us on another airline that night and finally settled for tickets on an early flight Monday morning on American. (We were flying continental and the plane we were to use to go to Houston was coming out of Newark where they were having 150 mph winds so the plane could not take off.) So we called Shawn & Tasha to tell them what was going on - they were still at Grapevine Mills where they had gone from Fuddruckers and had decided to spend the night in Witchata Falls (4 hours away) since it was getting so late and they didn't want to drive the complete 8 hours home. So I talked them into coming back and spending the night at the hotel with us at the airport. So we got some bonus time with them - Not Nyki & Family because they were already 2 hours away from DFW with the kids getting ready for bed & our flight was EARLY in the morning so we couldn't go stay with her - we might have tried harder to get together but they will be here in less than 2 weeks for a 3 week visit so.

Monday Morning: When we were suppose to be getting ready for work we were standing in line again at DFW. We both were targeted because our tickets were purchased less than 24 hours in advance for the "Super Duper Security Check". We had to go into the blowing machine & then they took our shows and carry on and ran the paper all over everything - completely emptying our carry on. While they were scanning my jacket - I started thinking "Oh no - did Shawn wrap his gun in that jacket or the other one?" Luckily it was the other one - because even though he had not fired his weapon in days and had cleaned it since then I wasn't sure that it would not have some residue on it and I wasn't prepared to go to Airport Jail! LOL. Came home - went straight to work and after I got off work I went straight to get my Parents from the Airport.

Best Birthday present EVER! My parents are here for my Birthday (it was Yesterday) and to help me with Britt's boys this weekend while they ride their bikes across the State of Florida! So maybe it's not that I'm looking older - it's just that I'm tired. Did I mention Randy flew out again Wednesday Morning? No - well he did and won't be home until next Friday (Just in time for another Camping TRIP - LOL)

20 Words of Wisdom to Live By

1. Give People more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

3. Don’t believe all you hear, don’t spend all you have, and don’t sleep all you want.

4. When you say, “I LOVE YOU.” mean it.

5. When you say, “I AM SORRY.” look the person in the eye.

6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

7. Believe in love at first sight.

8. Never laugh at anyone’s dream. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.

9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

11. Don’t judge people by their relatives.

12. Talks slowly but think quickly.

13. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”

14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

15. Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.

16. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

17. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self, Respect for others, and Responsibility for all your actions.

18. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

19. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

Bubble Bubble Toil & Trouble

I feel like a witch for stirring the pot - however I truly want other peoples take on this.

Lately I've noticed a terrible trend with some parents in my not so immediate circle (possibly in my immediate circle also - but they're not who I am thinking of currently).

SELFISHNESS.

Am I the only one that think that the "MY WAY NOW" generation has never out grown that? I will give some examples of direct quotes I've heard lately without too much detail due to not knowing who will read this blog.

1. "I have to give up so much for my children - I can't even get a new car because of the cost of tuition at private school" (existing car is 2 years old-without any issues)
2. "Did you see my new four wheeler? We only paid $$$$ for it we saved almost $1000" Not 5 minutes later "I need to take *** to the dentist. I was up 1/2 the night because of ***'s toothache for the third time this month, but I just can't afford to because I don't have dental insurance"
3. "I would start potty training ***** but I hate to prior to taking her out of the crib" Yes this child is almost 4!
4. Same parent as above "I would take her out of the crib - but then I would have to keep putting her back in bed at night where now I can just throw her in and walk out and let her scream until she goes to sleep" Scream does not equal crying in this case - it is actual Screaming for Mom to come get her out.
5. "My son-in-law doesn't get to spend much time with the kids because he works late 3 nights a week, and has other commentments on 2 nights & weekend mornings. I feel so sorry for him, because he is a great dad." Grandmother said. "By the way I will have the grandkids all day Saturday, so their parents can have some time alone"
6. "Going out to eat is so expensive - so we have started buying 1 child plate for the children to share and giving them peanut butter & jelly when we get home if they're still hungry" These are not young children like my grandson's who would only eat 1/2 a plate anyway - they are almost too old for the children's menu.
7. "My mom makes me lie to my dad about where we have been." Teenager "Then when we got home she complained to my father that I am too picky and we couldn't find any new school clothes at the mall. So now my dad says I don't get any school clothes because I was to snotty to pick something out. Mrs. H we didn't even go to the mall we went to a hotel for her to meet someone."

These are just some examples I have heard in the last month. I want to scream - "WHO SAID CHILD REARING IS EASY & CONVIENT? GROW UP PARENTS!"

I remember my parents sacrificing for me - be it mom not getting ice cream for dessert because I pitched a fit to have a nutty bar instead of an ice cream sandwich which was more expensive. I promise Randy & I went without or with a littler portion of food so that our growing children can eat. My daughter will buy the boys clothes with her birthday money because they have outgrown their clothes in place of a birthday present for herself. So I know that Parental sacrafice is still out there.

I've wondered many times over just how this will impact the way they raise children. Will we hear in the news in the future - Child starves to death while parents eat steak every night. Oh yeah I forgot I've already read about this happening a couple of times.

So at what point do I have the right to say enough.

Oh HAPPY DAYZZZZZZZZZZZ

This week has been much better mood wise than it started out! YEAHHHHHHH

1st - Kohl's finally came to TAMPA - one is under 3 miles from my house!
2nd - I went shopping at Kohl's and got some clothes that will cover my HUGE rear
3rd - Made it to Church on Wednesday Night - which always lifts my spirits
4th - Played Bunco (as a sub)
5th - Won Bunco (most BUNCOs)
6th - Randy did the laundry while I was playing with the girls :)
7th - We are on our way to go CAMPING this weekend
8th - Lots of REST ZZZZZZZZZ

So maybe - just maybe I can make the Happinest last awhile.

Homeless woman

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"
"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked
"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked."Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."

Pity Party

I don't know if you've noticed (I hope you have because if not that means you haven't been reading my blog :( that would be sad) I haven't posted much lately. I decided when I posted this post http://oldmotherhubbardsharesall.blogspot.com/2005/06/its-me-and-my-thoughts.html in June of 2006 and had my family kind of freak over it that I wouldn't post about my weird thoughts anymore. Seemed like a simple enough decision however, I sometimes feel like a fake because I don't lay it out there for the world to see. Maybe that is how it should be but I am stepping out here tonight on a night I can't sleep. I have been up the last 2 nights until after 2:30 and it looks like tonight might not be any different.

Warning stop reading if you don't want to attend my pity party!!

First, I have not been myself since before I posted the above blog log. I am trying to log why I've been down lately!

I eat because I'm depressed, I gain weight because I eat, I'm depressed because I've gained weight! It's a horribly cycle - and I can't seem to get off of it. Solution - I go to the Doctor. He treats my depression by Welbutrin - which has helped because I'm here to post. However, when I try to talk to him about helping me with my weight he says "Yes you need to loose weight" and goes back to writing in my chart. The first time this happened I thought well thanks for all your help - then blew it off as my being too sensitive. The third time this has happened. I'm pissed! I believe I will be looking for a new doctor! Not that I think a doctor owes me a way to loose weight - I do feel he owes me the time I'm paying for to listen to my concerns. Not act like he can't wait to get out the door as quickly as possible and that I'm a bother!

I feel alone, yet I want to be alone but hate feeling lonely! When we are with a group of friends I find myself feeling freaked out because Randy is not right by my side - if he is right there I just want us to go home! Anyone that knew me back when I was me - knows I am a party lover. The more the merrier has always been my motto. I loved to be center of attention. (and I see that in me still in this secure setting - my BLOG). I think you know if I DON'T LIKE ME WHY SHOULD ANYONE ELSE? I'm aware at all times how HUGE I am - I try to take up as little room as possible no matter where I am. I sometimes forget I'm not Twila anymore and will start talking and when people look at me and listen, I think SHUT UP no one wants to hear from you. They're only being nice. Which leads me to getting tongue tied and flustered and then I feel like I show everyone what a freak I am.

I'm sad because I don't get to see my family in Texas as often as I want but when we make plans to go or for someone to be here I start thinking things like. "Oh my gosh - I don't want them to see what a cow I am" "I know they are going to look at me and think how just 2 years ago I was still losing weight on weight watchers and fitting into jeans and clothes I hadn't been able to wear in YEARS. Now I can't even fit into my fat clothes.

So reading back through this I find a theme - if only I could lose my weight I would feel more confident and better about myself. So here's my resolve - I will start to lose weight somehow someway! Well I guess I should close and go eat my Chocolate Covered Payday now - because when I'm down chocolate makes me feel better.