Thanksmas 2011

I will get the picture of the whole family posted soon but for now......I just want to get the details posted while they are still fresh on my mind.

Shawn and Tasha hosted Thanksmas 2011 - Britt and RC and kids left to drive to Amarillo around 2 (after making a quick stop by Nanny and Pawpaw's - I think to show off her HOT new Dark - reddish hair color) they got to Shawn and Tasha's around 10 along with Nyki and Jeremy and their kids - who had left about 3o minutes after the Crosby Crew, they also stopped by Nanny's for supper (which I didn't realize it but they haven't been there since Mom and Dad's 50th anniversary in 2008 - so I was glad they stopped by and saw everyone - Dad got pictures of all 11 great grandkids) Randy and I left after I got off work and headed for Shawn's house. We arrived after the others by less than an Hour. It was still late enough the Tasha had crashed for the night - you know how it is when your pregnant it takes so much out of you.

Saturday was so much fun - we ate a great breakfast, showered which when there is 14 people involved that takes a while. We opened presents - I loved my painting of a Cross that Brittney made me! Everyone seemed to be pleased with their gifts. Tasha especially seemed excited about the gifts for Bently (again I will post pictures soon). The kids played with their gifts - they all played with Kailey's gift from Tasha and Shawn - it was a cupcake set that you can decorate with dry erase markers and wipe it off and do it again - Kailey declared who's birthday it was and then we would sing happy birthday to them........Kailey has hung around Mr Wes too often she believes she should sing happy birthday as loud as she can! LOL actually it was very very sweet! Grownups played games - kids played with their gifts and the toys at Tasha's house. We took the kids to the park to run off energy after a huge lunch. We just had a wonderful wonderful time.....Again I was reminded of how much I love each and everyone of my kids, kids-in-love and grandkids......and can not wait for Ms. Bently to join the FAMILY!

Monday (MLK day) The Skogens had left on Sunday (Jeremy wasn't off Monday) the Crosby Crew left on Sunday to go to Nanny and Pawpaw's house and see the whole family. Randy, Shawn, Tasha, and I went to a friends church and then to eat supper with them afterwards - I love spending time with KDO and Family! Tasha had to work Monday so she got up early and went off to work, I did a couple of favors for Shawn then we left to go to see the Amarillo family. Got to see Mom for a few minutes, she was having card club at her house so it wasn't near long enough! Dad, Crosbys, Randy and I met Emily and her kids, Shane, Justin and boys at Taco Villa for lunch then headed home. ONLY regret is I didn't get to see Zane, Steve, Alisha or Stephen on this trip but plan to in March when I go for Tasha's baby shower.

Christmas 2010

The last two Christmas Eves have been just Randy and I - which is nice but to me Holiday's are about Family and excitement not a movie marathon and naps. (We did go to Winsboro last year to his sister's house and spend Christmas Day with his family) Anyway at the end of last Christmas Day I was having a talk with my Heavenly Father and I told him how I ached because I wanted so much more out of Christmas. Well I know that Christmas isn't about me it is about Celebratin the Birth of my Saviour and I know that Randy LOVES being just us (so do I most of the time - but not on what I consider Family Holidays) well God heard my prayer and answered it this year! My Parents, Sister, Brother-in-love, Neice, Nephew-in-Love, and their two boys came in Wednesday Night - all 10 of us and Nyki, Jeremy, Rylee and Jakob all went to Holiday in the park on Thursday - it was Magical! Friday Alisha, Justin and boys went to Nyki's house after 6-Flags and so it was just the 6 of us Grandparents (the kids seem to get upset when I say Adults instead of Grandparents) got up and wondered downtown McKinney in the Rain then ate some lunch @ the Best BBQ place in my world! Then I went and picked up Alisha's boys for them to finish their Christmas Shopping and the rest went to Nyki's house to see it (Zane and Steve had never been to the new house). We went home got ready and went to the FIRST EVER CHRISTMAS EVE SERVICE at LifePointe Fellowship - an excellent service. Home for supper and A Christmas Story - the movie that is not biblical.

Christmas morning the boys got up opened their stockings (that's what Alisha called them - me I would have called them Christmas Pillowcases) had breakfast they opened their presents. Nyki and family came over had breakfast and the Grandkids opened their presents, they could only stay until 2 but it was fun while they were there! After they left we ate lunch - played games - got everyone to play Taboo, MadGab, and Guesstures - not our normal card games but I think everyone had fun. Nanny (my mom) wasn't feeling really great but still played like a trooper until she could play no more and called it a night.

All too soon Sunday morning came - after a Great Church Service and a quick lunch made up of leftovers they left :( but hey I'll take them as long as I can!

All in all it was a great visit - without it being all about presents - in fact no adults exchanged gifts - well not totally true Nanny and Pawpaw (f.k.a. Mom & Dad) brought me a game about Amarillo I was wanting!

HELLO ANYONE OUT THERE STILL?

Wow I cannot believe that it has been so long since I've said HELLO. Not much has been going on but I'm constantly busy.


I signed up with a Temp agency end of April to get some income coming in since my unemployment checks had run out after a year (who can complain?). I signed up on a Thursday - helped some friends move over the weekend, was cleaning the house they moved out of on Monday and received a call to start a job on Tuesday, the job would last for 4 days and here I am still at the same Job over 6 months later. Isn't God Great!


Our church has been Gifted with a building - this was nothing but a God thing! We have had weddings in the new building and on the grounds the last two weekends and have another one coming up this weekend. I am the wedding coordinator for the church and have had so much fun with the weddings and expect this weekends to be just as fun!


Well really those are the only things going on that I think you would be interested in at all.......Randy shaved his head in July (I find it SEXY :) - sorry if that is an overshare). Nyki & Jeremy moved to the same town we live in which is great; Britt and RC are doing great; Shawn and Tasha, well pop on over and see what they have going on! I'm so excited!!!!! The grandkids are growing so fast here's the latest picture of them.

What a January!

Randy and I took a trip to Amarillo to see my family. The first few days were GREAT......then on Thursday last week it began to SNOW and SNOW and SNOW....School was closed on Thursday, Friday and still hasn't melted all. Then last night it snowed AGAIN. If anyone remembers how I longed for Snow when I was living in Florida you have permission to SLAP me for it!

It's been a good week for the most part, Randy and my nephew has a BLAST running around in Stephen's Jeep and "helping people who were stuck", if the truth be known I figure they spent more time playing in the Jeep than helping but hey they returned safely. I for the most part stayed in my parents warm house!

Randy headed home (made it safely) on Monday. I'm staying until my friend Sheila heads that way. Her mother is recovering from surgery so she is here also.

I am currently at my Son's and Daughter-in-Law's house. They are the best, my son made "from scratch" pizzas and they put Pappa Murphy's to Shame (Which is my favorite place to get pizza from.)

I'll be headed back to Amarillo today (as long as the roads aren't closed and I don't think they are) Then Sheila and I will be headed home on Friday getting home in time for the Super Bowl Party.

Bring on February (I know It's already here) may it be as good and as full of surprises as January has been!

Wow.....It's been a long time.

Well so much has happened since I last blogged. Grandkids have grown, kids have graduated, been accepted onto the Swat team, and led a Women's bible study. I am so proud of all 3 of my children and then my Kids by marriage continue to reinforce that my kids make good choices.

My favorite (she would be even if she wasn't the only one) Daughter-in-Law has taught her first semester of teaching under her belt and all I can say is I pray that ALL teachers have a heart like she does for children especially special education children, I know each of their lives and that of their families are blessed because of such a special young teacher.

Son-in-Laws are both growing and maturing in their jobs and have proven time and time again to be great daddies and husbands. (Even though sometimes I think that they forget it's my grandchildren they are getting onto.... my angels that DO NOTHING WRONG.... hehehehe)

My husband, oh wow what can I say he is still great, frustrating, perfect, on my nerves, he treats me like a princess, he ignores me.......oh wait is this the same man? Yes yes it is and he is a gift from God and when I remember to pray for him and to be thankful for him he is great. When I am down and moody he drives me nuts but I cannot imagine life without him!

Overall I am so blessed by my family! I will try to start posting regularly again.

Update....ummmmm okay that's a good name!

I'm still unemployed and am thinking that is part of why I am so angry with everyone and everything! I have never realized that my self worth is so tied to being a value to someone at work.

I enjoyed my time in Florida with my friend Julie and her family, seeing friends I haven't seen in awhile and came back feeling more upbeat and less consumed by the darkness. My friend Cindy bought me a couple of Chonda Pierce cd's and that has helped so much. I had my first ever surprise birthday party :) it was awesome! We went camping (I love camping and haven't gotten to go this year) we went to the beach and ate at Frenchy's. The only thing I would do different is next time I hope Randy can go with me...I missed him and he missed me.

I need to focus on the positives more on the negatives less..........I need to get me a Build a Bear to vent on. I do not want my kids and grandkids to remember me as always ANGRY. I want them to remember me more as it was Sunday when we sat around and laughed and shared and enjoyed each other!

Looking forward to having all the kids here this weekend but am disappointed that it is the same weekend that MEOW meets cause I love to spend the time with my friends like I got to last year on my birthday. But I know the right choice has been made!

Stay tuned for Trick or Treat pictures and hopefully some family pics!

My Dream Friday Night........

In my dream........

I am sitting on the shores of a large lake, across the lake I can see a couple that I enjoy spending time with camping on the exact opposite side of the lake. I can hear them laughing and having a good time every once in a while the man will look up and wave at me and motion for me to come over to their camp. The woman will smile and say come over please. I will just start crying because the lake is too big for me to walk around it, I have no boat and there is not a bridge. I cry often and hard while I am crying the lake gets bigger and bigger growing with my tears. I can't quit sobbing and the lake just keeps making me move further away from the other side to keep from getting wet. I can see the couple whom I love dearly having so much fun. I cry to God to help me get to them. He says walk across the water and I tell him I am not Jesus I cannot walk on water.......and again He says step out into the water and again I say I can't and cry harder making the lake grow. Again I hear Him very plainly say step into the water. I spend more time crying and saying I can't. Finally after what seems to be a very long time....long enough that I know I moved further inland 5 times because the water is still increasing because of my tears.....in fact I am so far inland that I can't even see the other campsite any longer. I hear yet again God say "Step into the Water" so I do and I realize that the whole lake is nothing but my tears and they only come up to my ankles so I begin to walk across the water...not on the water it wasn't a miracle but just across the water towards the other campsite. I feel stupid because I have allowed my pity party to keep me from those I love and want to spend time with. The saddest thing and the reason I cannot forget my dream is when I got to the other side it was too late my loved ones had packed up and gone home.

If you are one of the ones I have hurt during my pity party (and believe me their are many I am sure...) please do not give up on me ... do not pack up and leave because I am coming to spend time with you. I am so sorry that my self absorbtion has caused you to be hurt.

Jon and Kate Plus 8 - My View

I had to laugh when I read Drea a fellow Bloggers posting on this show........(Ummm she posted this a long time ago and I'm just now catching up on reading peoples blogs - so I'm behind time)

Anyway I also watched Jon and Kate Plus 8 for a while but turned it off after the way Kate spoke to Jon. Drea stated this much better than I can so go and read her post and then let me know what you think.

http://www.uniquelyplaced.com/2009/05/8-and-18.html

You back already? Did you read all of it?

Doesn't matter really but one of the things that I have noticed since taking a class with Randy "Building Your Mates Self Esteem" that the way we talk to our spouses is probably the most important thing we can do to build a strong lasting marriage ....... more important than common interests, than supporting them in their dreams and wishes, more important than SEX... All these things are important but belittling your spouse poke holes in a relationship like you cannot believe even when in Jest. I am AWFUL about "dissing" Randy in front of a crowd to be FUNNY. I love Randy with all my heart and I cannot imagine EVER being Happy without him by my side. I remember an old country song "Where have you been" Kathy Matea. It talks about everytime her husband is gone and he comes home she says "Where have you been - you know I am not myself when you are gone" that is exactly how I feel about Randy.

I do not believe that treating your spouse poorly gives them the right to cheat on you. I do believe that if a person does not get the respect they need in a relationship they crave it from someone else anyone else......... Be it Spouses or friendship.

I have no idea why I felt the need to say this but I did - hopefully God will use it, to better someone.

I'm still interested in your feelings on the subject of Jon and Kate or Marriage....

And out of nowhere I was Attacked!

Have you ever been minding your own business and out of the blue BOOM you are attacked?



Let me start from the beginning. Randy and I went to visit his family, His oldest brother and his wife, his sister and his mom. Randy's niece flew in and Randy picked her up at the airport, she spent some time with us and then we took her to her parents. It was a wonderful visit with Debbie, she cooked for us (Anyone else out there not know that Yorkshire pudding wasn't really a pudding at all?) we played lots of games, lots of visiting.....GREAT time! Then Thursday morning Randy, Debbie, and I drove the 2 hours to go visit the family. Met them at a wonderful restaurant and then went to his brother's house to visit. We played Apples to Apples where the guys killed us all and then the Train game, which I won! Then I am walking into the living room talking to his sister and BAM - I mean no warning no nothing just BAM, BAM, BAM! I was personally attacked. My first reaction was to hurt back....then the thought came into my head - "You cannot control what someone else does but you can control how you react...." So instead of getting even I smiled pretty and had my picture taken with the family and then went to the bathroom to nurse my wounds. Are you wondering what Randy did? Nothing - well WORSE than nothing - he laughed.



Here I will show you how it looks 2 days later...... STUPID CAT!

Things I have noticed lately

When communication breaks down it adds stress to a relationship. (I am not a mind reader talk to me, tell me what you want, or you have no right to pout when I make other plans that do not include your wants.)

When children are excited about something they seem to lose their minds! Not to mention their knowledge of exceptable behaviour.

When your down and withdrawl from the majority of contacts your cell phone stops ringing then when you want to talk to people and it doesn't ring you get down and withdrawl from people..... endless circle!

When Jesus has something in mind for you no amount of planning and aligning things to be able to do what you want to do will make it happen. But when you set back and say God do you want me to take this trip and he closes door you feel better because you know that it is within His will instead of thinking you should have planned better.

When you start exercising your body turns on you like a vicious attack dog. Okay maybe I didn't get the stomach flu because I have started to ride my bike again...... but just maybe I did!

I've been Cheating on you

Blog it is true ... I have been cheating on you, I have found that I like Facebook. I am so sorry I really think there is room in my life for both of you, but please do not make me choose. Facebook will accept quick little hellos where I feel you want me to stay and chat awhile. Besides Facebook allows everyone to see my words where you want people to come visit..and I've negelected you for so long people have probably quit coming to see if I'm even still alive.

Okay seriously people I have had a tough time blog lately because I have had a hard time thinking complete thoughts at all. I have fought depression and the majority of the days it has won. If I start the day off in Bible Study and Prayer I tend to win. However, I listen to the deciever and do not take the time to study.

I've also listened to Satan in other areas lately like when he says ...See you defended someone against everyone else when they were doing something you really didn't agree with but you stood strong beside them and now that they have turned the same actions on you, your not so fast to defend them. In fact your quick to blame them and judge them and write them off. I know that God doesn't turn his back on those that love Him. I am taking a stand to remember the Golden Rule I have been teaching this to the boys but haven't remembered to live it myself.

So I leave you with.. "Do unto Others as you would have them do unto you!"

To Bravely Go......

To bravely go where I have been before.....hmmmm maybe that is "To Cowardly Go Where I have been before!"

I have been in a dark place the last few weeks....I'm not sure if pity party is the right term because most of the time when I'm at a pity party I can see it for what it is. This has been more of a "I do not know what Is up with me but it isn't pretty" kind of thing.

As you know I have been "Work forced reduced" and am now looking for a job. I thought it was a great thing to be let go - especially since I am receiving unemployment so it isn't a major impact on the finances. However, I think I am feeling a little lost because so much of what is TWILA is a sense of accomplishment achieved from work.....no work - no sense of accomplishment. I have also been doing a Bible study with a friend of mine.. Beth Moore's Get Out of the Pit, which has made me look long and hard about certain areas of my life.....areas that were hidden and ignored for so long that once brought into the life they smelled, they were covered in rotten growth and bugs (we all know I do not like bugs!). But dealing with them and actually putting them in the ground (buried - because they are dead) is helping.

I am making a committment to my friend (HEY CINDY!) to quit hiding when things are bad. I am making a committment to my family to quit withdrawling when I feel the darkness and allow them to bring the light into the darkness one small flame at a time until I have that burning bright going to get sunburned feel from the raging sunshine all thier candles created.

Oh yeah another reason I need to find a job - the perfect job for me that God has in place already - is so the lines between "I am Grandma" and "I am momma" are not so blurred - thanks for putting up with the butting in so much Brittney and RC....I will try to do better and remember "I'm not the momma" and it isn't my job. Love you guys.

So now aren't you glad you emailed asking when I am going to update again???????

I am ALIVE!

Just wanted to reassure everyone I was still around......

So much has happened since I last blogged I will just try to hit the highlights....
a. I was laid off
b. Andrew turned 3
c. AC turned 7
d. Nyki and Jeremy moved to a new house
e. Randy, Britt, Trace, Andrew, and Kailey went to visit Amarillo
f. Randy and I have gotten active in PrePaid Legal - once we saw how great it is we want to share it with others......if interested let me know!
g. I was approved for Unemployment so am being picky about what jobs I apply for - do not want to accept the wrong one because that quickly becomes misserable!

So how has everyone else been?

New Look

You will have noticed by now I'm sporting a new look......well at least my Blog is! I want to Thank my Daughter-in-Law for setting me up with such a pretty - uplifting look! Thanks T!

I have a funny story to share with you regarding this look. As anyone that has read this, my facebook or received an email from me lately will know I'm going through a really rough time. So I have a dear friend that I rely on heavily when I am in the midst of Darkness - I truly believe that anyone that has walked or walks in the Darkness understands what I am going through better than someone that has never experienced the DARKNESS of depression. Anyway I digress (I know THAT's a shock!)

My friend pointed out to me that I am mistaking Money for Wealth and vice versa...I am very wealthy in love and family - even if money is tight I am WEALTHY! So I wrote to my friend that I had come up with a bi-line from some advice she had given me. The bi-line is "the cubbard is bare but our cup runneth over" (see it up there.....you know a play on the Old Mother Hubbard went to the cubbard.......poem)

Wow it's taking me a while to get to the funny part - HUH!

So I wrote to her and said my bi-line is going to be "the cubbard is bare but our cop runneth over"....so as most of you know my son is a police officer , I get an email asking me "what did S run over?" did you see the typo? our cop runneth over....instead of cup. Luckily T is better at proof reading than I am. Ok maybe it was just funny to me but it made me laugh OUT LOUD.

Reflective Mood

Somethings that have me giving into the darkness lately
1. Hating my job with no other prospects out there to really look at.
2. Being so far from Florida (remember when I couldn't wait to get back to Texas? Yeah not so much anymore)
3. Not seeing my Daddy on his birthday......heck I even almost failed to call him and wish him a happy birthday.
4. Finding out that no matter how hard I try not to add stress to someone else I tend to ALWAYS do it...... Believe me that is the last thing I want to do to people I love!
5. Listening to the news talk about how much worse the economy is going to be before it gets better.....
6. Finances! Oh to never have to worry about money again!


Somethings that have me fighting HARD agains the darkness
1. Wonderful precious grandbabies (even though NONE are babies anymore!)
2. Game night with my daughters and son-in-laws - I LOVE to Win but I will even take losing if it means I get to spend some time with the girls (and their hubbies) - Have I told you blog world how my son-in-laws can make me laugh till I spew my drink through my nose?
3. MY LOVING HUSBAND - God gave me such a gift when it comes to him.
4. Seeing friends I haven't seen but once maybe twice in over 10 years and actually getting to spend quaility time with them. 2 different friends (well 3 I guess one was a couple) in 2 weeks.
5. Getting sweet cards and emails from Julie :)
6. Having my friend Cindy as a sounding board - she's not afraid to tell me like it is and coming from her I'm not afraid to hear it because I know it is done in LOVE!
7. Knowing I have a Saviour that NEVER LETS GO OF ME!

So on reflecting I know that the good out weights the bad so why the heck is it the BAD that always bounces around in my head?

Why I believe Heaven and Hell are real.....

A friend had blogged about how she was struggling trying to decide on a religion or even if she believed in a supreme being. I kind of went into my beliefs - a long comment on her blog and have been thinking about it ever since....so for the 2 maybe 3 people that still read my blog I thought I would share with you some of the reasons why I believe the following:

God loves me and takes care of me.
example: Many years ago when Randy was in college and I was a home maker with 3 fairly young children. Our parents were very helpful during this time of NO INCOME....they let us live in their rent house, rent free, they paid our utility bills, bought diapers, groceries etc. Randy worked truck wrecks when he could and would get paid, he helped with a paper route when he could for income.....he did everything he could to help out. I babysit for some income and we tried to impact our parents as little as possible. Randy worked a truck wreck and got to bring home some frozen fried chicken (hmmmm maybe that is where my dislike for fried chicken comes from - because I used to love it) We had this chicken for at least every other meal for weeks (It was a BIG TRUCK!) Randy made the comment when he brought it home how God had provided for us....I agreed, but then after a few weeks of the same stuff (wow my throat is closing just thinking about the chicken) I was becoming very much like the Isralites in the desert complaining about the manna God provided. I put the last box of chicken in the oven for supper one night, it was a few days before WIC sent us new coupons for Milk, Eggs, Cheese etc......and I literally had nothing to feed my children for Breakfast. I had mentioned calling my parents for help and Randy said no I've prayed about it and God will provide. So I put the food in the oven, had made the mashed potatoes (powdered from a box.....can you say yummy - yeah neither can I) and opened up green beans (Praise God for my parents garden because we had fresh canned veggies....too bad my children wouldn't eat them- LOL). I turned to Randy and yelled OKAY so where is God - what am I suppose to feed the kids tomorrow? He said, If it comes to that he would go to his mom's in the morning and borrow some money or food.........I said why not go now. He stated he would after supper and the kids were in bed. (looking back now and knowing him to be the man he is - I can only imagine how it killed him to have to ask either of our parents for anything.... and believe me he had a wife that reminded him every chance she got that her parents were putting a roof over our heads etc.....) Anyway we were eating supper and the front doorbell rang (I stress the front doorbell because anyone the knew us well would come to the back and ring that doorbell) So I figured since it was the front door it was one of the kids in the neightborhood coming to see if Nyki could play. Randy gets up and goes to the front door......he speaks and then closes the door. He doesn't come back to the table, so I call out "Who was it" He says "Come here it is my God" I get up and go to the living room and see the Chairman of the Deacons at our church come in with bags of groceries - it took him and Randy 2 trips each to get them all in the house. George shares that he was dropping them off at a trailor (in the trailor park at the end of our neighborhood) and when he pulled up the trailor was gone and the family that the church had gathered the groceries for were no where to be found. So he prayed asking God where to take the groceries and God told him our house. We thanked him - I cried (Randy probably did too but I do not rememberr) and George left so we started putting away the groceries and in the first sack I opened their were 3 boxes of cereal - Sugar Puffs (Nyki's favorite), Kix (Brittney's favorite) and Fruit Loops (Shawn's favorite).......now tell me that isn't the hand of God. He knew we would never ask for help - he knew we would die of embarrassment before taking a hand out from our church family and yet he provided a way for us to save face and each of the children to get their favorite (two of which we couldn't even get on WIC).

When we were moving from Florida to Texas a friend of mine (Hey Marilyn) reminded me during the time I was so doubtful that everything would work out that "God Still Rings Doorbells"!

When we do not make a choice to believe then we have made a choice to reject Him and face eternal life in Hell.
example: Over the course of my life I have been in the room 3 different times when someone has taken their last breath. (No this is not a reflection on me.....it is safe to be in the room with me). 1st ONE: My brother-in-law who just before Randy and I were married surrendered his life to Jesus and became a christian - His final moments were his troubled breathing and then silence...that was it. He went from a painful look on his face to one of peace. His wife said he's with Jesus now. 2nd ONE: My uncle who no one knows if he ever made a decision.....most people that knew him says NO. I was in the room with my dad and 2 (possibly 3 - but I know 2 other) uncles when he took his last breath - it was dark, it was scary and he fought and fought hard..... one uncle stated he went in pain, another said quietly to his wife when we were back in the waiting room (he fought against Satan) I heard him and just looked at him he hugged me and said he had seen it before. My dad was weeping so it was later before we spoke of it and he said he didn't have the peace that he had when others had passed that he would see them again in Heaven. I was an adult, mother of 3 at the time and some nights I still have nightmares from his last moments on earth. 3rd ONE: was when my father in law passed....We were with him before his final heart attack, Randy's mom had called us stating that he wasn't good and wanted us to go see him, so my parents kept the kids and we went to the VA hospital to see him. He was alert and knew us - asked if Randy's neice by marriage had made it in from NY with her kids, visited with us. As we were leaving I leaned over to kiss him goodbye and he held my arm for a minute looked into my eyes and told me to take care of his babies. Remind them often of how much he loved them and that he would see them again. I told Randy when I joined him in the hall what he said and that he had just said goodbye. Randy I think wanted to believe that it was a message strictly because he had been in the hospital for over a month and that he wanted to remind the kids that he was thinking of them. We go get the kids from my parents house and take them home bathe them for church the next day and put them to bed. Randy's mom calls shortly there after and the hospital had called the family in. Randy and I only had one car so he couldn't go meet his mom while I took the kids to my sisters and then joined them. He didn't want me to just stay at home, which is what had always happened before. As we were gathering up the kids after I had called my sister to see if we could drop them off there, his mom called again and his nephew was there so she was just heading to the hospital with him. So we took the kids to my Sister's house and headed to the hospital. We got there and they had moved Dad into the CCU unit, but we were told we could come and go all we wanted (which is not normal) we found Mom and Robert and then we went back to see Dad, he wasn't alert any longer. We went back a few times over the next couple of hours and just shortly past midnight, we went back with Randy's mom for her to tell him it was okay to go. He said I love you (the only words he'd spoken since talking to me as I was leaving earlier) and he relaxed (that's the best way I can describe it....he wasn't fighting prior but his body just seemed to relax completely and he had a smile on his face) we walked Mom back to the waiting room and then Randy and I went back in, a nurse met us and stated that they needed a few minutes if we could just wait outside so we went back to the waiting room with his mom, nephew, sister and brother-in-law. The doctor came to the room just seconds after we got back in the waiting room to tell us he was gone.

Now some people might say it is just a fluke that all three died so differently - that it is just individual circumstances but I disagree - I think that in the last moments everyone knows their final destination and that is what makes the difference!

I would also like to share a story I've been told time and time again by my mother who was 9 or so when her grandfather passed. That was when you didn't take people to the hospital (well few people took them to the hospital) Grandpa Stuckey (GPS) had been ill for awhile and so my Mamaw asked my mom to sit in the room with him while she prepared lunch. Mom was playing with her doll on the floor when GPS spoke for the first time in weeks. He said "look there's ......" he began to call out names of his wife, son, and grandson that had all passed before him and then he said very plainly "And there's Jesus". You will never be able to convince my mother (or me for that matter) that Jesus isn't standing there with opened arms to welcome us home when we die.

Good Deed Challenge......x7 yikes!!!!!!

Pop over here and see what I am talking about.

1. I love my HUSBAND because he is my best friend, lover, defender, and unfortunately my dog (when I need something to kick and yet just like a dog will come back with forgiveness and love!)
2. I laugh at myself often because if I didn't I would end up in the corner sucking my thumb out of dispair.
3. I want to acknowledge/thank my children because they survived my bungling ways in raising them to become Strong Good Adults that add to this world and not just takes from it!

So I did this and the challenge is to do it 6 more times.......maybe in the future I can do it in a more upbeat view....but for now it is what it is!

Spitting Nails!

I am mad enough to spit nails.........a group called "God Hates Fags" plans to picket my friends funeral friday night. You can read why at this web site.........
http://www.godhatesfags.com/schedule.html

They say the memorial service is to worship Marvin....no you idiots it is for remembering Marvin and worshiping the God that created him.

Please join me in praying for minimum contact with Sandy, Tyler, and Kayley they do not need to remember their fathers memorial service connected to this group in any form or fashion.

I praise God we live in a country that they have the right to voice their CRAP no matter how stupid they are. Now the God that can close the mouths of lions can also open up heavens gates and let it POUR RAIN on this group as the picket! (and if he saw fit I wouldn't mind them being struck by lightning - Florida is the lightning capital of the world!)

this Mamma's Drama

This week has been one that I hope will never be repeated!

It started off with sicknes throughout our house (heck that is how it is ending also). We went out for a FUN FUN night with another couple last Friday and I think that is the last good thing that has happened!

Got up Saturday morning to a sicky husband and I didn't feel very good but kind of was thinking "hang over" but as the day went on the worse I felt. Didn't even leave the house until Sunday night - heck I only came out of my room like 3 times until Tuesday morning even. Today's the first day I have been audible (yes this is an answer to Prayer for Randy).

Anyway back to my week.....worked form home Monday, came to work Tuesday and around 1 p.m. left to take Brittney's boys to Nyki, so we (Britt, RC, Kailey, Randy, and I) could drive to Waco for the Visitation for the family of a friend of ours from Tampa's mother. I was thankful that we lived close enough to make the 2.5 hour drive to see Jennifer and Steve. As awful as the circumstance were it was nice to see Beth and the whole Biles family. We were reminded of just how many friends we had left behind.

Wednesday was just a yucky day not enough sleep (drove home the night before during Hail, high winds, just plain crappy weather and couldn't turn off my mind until after 2 a.m.) By the way is it safe to give my son-in-law a word of advice on driving in the storm? It should be because he can't pull the car over and leave me on the side of the road (which he threatened to do a few dozen times on the trip to and from Waco) Anyway RC when you run into bad weather it might not be the best choice to just drive faster to get through it..........hmmmmm if it had been me I probably would have slowed down to at least the speed limit. Just kidding he did fine if he hadn't of I wouldn't be here to type this.

Wednesday night/evening was just ........well it sucked and that was like the nicest thing I can think to say about it. I was upset and snapped at Brittney who was also upset for having coke cans in her room ready to be spilt by the kids........Does anyone remember my post on just the one before the last one, well the Mom in me kicked in and I snapped at her (my adult, grown-up, mother of 4, wife for years...............and the list goes on) for leaving empty cans sitting around. I'm sure I would have grounded her if I could...today typing this I'm thinking Twila let Go you are NOT in Charge......anyway my snapping made a stressful situation worse. Hows that for honesty?

Thursday wasn't too bad, had a meeting with my immediate manager and was told that the company is moving probably at the end of this month (which is what 2 weeks away?) the prime location for now is 47 miles away from where the current office is. I took this job and a pay cut because it was 3.2 miles form my house....not going to drive over an hour both directions without some compensation. So I told my manager that for either a gas card or a couple of more bucks an hour AND a 4 - 10 work week with every Friday off I wasn't going to do it. So he was like sounds fair will take it to corporate. Then Thursday night around 8 my manager called to tell me that Corporate said I probably should put my resume out then because NO WAY will they meet my demands.......demands like I'm holding them hostage......anyway so I went to bed thinking wow talk about being expendable.

Then we come to the big CLENCHER OF THE WEEK........ One of the first people we met when we joined First Baptist Lutz was the drummer in the praise band.. Marvin and his lovely daughter Kayley. Later on we met his wife Sandy and son Tyler - the whole family worked in Judgement House with Randy and I. Well Marvin was the Captain / Pilot of Flight 3407 ....he is jamming in the Ultimate Praise Band in Glory - playing live before Jesus. I received the news from a dear friend Cindy having Texted me to call her ASAP..... she shared with me that Marvin was the Pilot and no one had survived. I am currently listening to Bro Alan doing a conference for the news in Tampa. Oh Sandy how I wish I was close enough to give comfort but I am sending in my stead the GREAT COMFORTER, may God be with you.

So Today I was reminded that my problems are so small compared to what my friends are going through!

What to do.....What to do....

Okay I cannot decide what to do ..........

I have no sick leave at work.......I have the bug that the boys shared with me.

My boss's baby boy has been hospitalized 2 or 3 times since he was born in August due to viruses.

Do I stay home and get to feeling better, and let it impact our finances?
or
Do I go to work and share this bug and risk Boss getting it and sharing it with baby E?

Luckily for me the boss sent me some work so I can work from home and still get the pay.......
but what would you do?